Saturday, June 30, 2012

The morning was...

It was hell disorienting to wake up in the morning at 8:15, wondering why am I up and once I saw the alarm being pending in my phone, my first question was: why the hell is the alarm up? It took me a while to realize that no shit Sherlock, I have WORK!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Movie night

I rented three movies.

The Three Musketeers. Gotta say, I don't understand all the hate that movies gets. It was actually good. I had fun. And good lord, I have a huge soft spot for Luke Evans. Ever since I saw The Clash of Titans. Loved him as Apollo in that. That kid plaing D'Artagnan was great too. The royal couple just gave me the creeps and Orlando Bloom as Count (or was it Duke?)  of Buckingham was sly as ever.

Sherlock Holmes - A Game of Shadows. I was in stitches. Sherlock and Watson are like a married couple in those. Simply loved the "It had to be done." -line.

War Horse. Good grief. I cannot get over the death of Captain Nicholls. Maybe bcause he was an artist. Or maybe because Tom Hiddleston has replaced Sean Bean as my favorite British actor. Magnificent horse though. The guard goose was hilarious.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Isn't it swell

I accidentally REALLY upset my sweetheart. I assumed (again), that FYI is something within <3's knowledge. I was wrong. I feel like an IDIOT. Haven't really been my day anyways. *sigh*
I think I'm just gonna go and play Avengers Alliance some more. Bash bad guys (and occasional Loki) with myself, Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Invisible Woman and Sif.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Sweet

Well... that was the first trip to Powerpark... after my shift. Music Express was as fun as it looked, Giant Wheel was alright, you saw nearly everything up there. Piovra... made me woozy, but I might go there again. Thunderbird, the wooden roller coaster... I nearly died fom panic. 1/4th of the short track and I already wanted out. Halfway I was in tears, just wanting to either get off or die...
Didn't have much time, but... maybe next time. On my free day.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Midsummer

At least I get money from this job... Saw the planes from the distance, nice show, it seemed.

I should probably just... Get my ass off this chair and go move more things outta the way. Half of this room is clean, which is a feat. Maybe... tomorrow... after work. Earlir morning, but at least me and my sweetheart are gonna spend even few hours together after my shift.

I could still sleep

I felt anxious when I went to bed, then, just as I was settled to sleep, anxiety attack tried to hit me full force. My sweetheart got me calmed down enough, but still, I slept really poorly tonight too. I'm wondering am I really losing my sleep because of the unfinished cleaning that presses my mind, OR the job. I need to be at work around11:30, rather before that, so I could still snooze. I'm really tired, listening to Bon Jovi's I'll Sleep When I'm Dead again. Part of me says fuck this shit and wants to hit the hay. I just might. If I have some time after clearing at least some space down here.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Song for today: Alone In Heaven

Not too bad workday, my workpartner was quiet. And I am not, but we got along. Left early. I should pack away my stuff. I actually have packed some of my books away already. I'm not giving up my history books, actually.
I guess I'm learning. I feel like going for a jog or  bicycle ride. I should. I really, really should. I want these extra kilos off my frame.
I'm feeling considerably better, now that I know that I will be getting a life of my own in two months. This work is an obstacle, but... I guess I can get over it ^^

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

I just wanna live while I'm alive

I got accpted into two colleges, Ikaalinen and Lappia's Tervola division. Sure, designing and sewing clothes has been my dream for years, but interior textile further away from home won, it had my darling on its side anyway. And of course gramps decided to go all prissy. Feels like he does not understand of concept one's own life. It's my life, I choose where to go and and a get a profession. I can always go to the next school after that. I'm 21, I still have time. Friends have been extremely supportive too, unlike my family, who shows no support whatsover.

I have packed smaller boxes already, but just have to wait and see what I can get into thos big ones. I'm seriously getting out of here. WITH my car. Never without it. How the hell I'm supposed to move out when the school is kilometres away from train station?! He does not think and he has been very irritating recently. I have never been this frustrated of them.

I've decided not to give a a flying fuck in the desert about them. This is my life, I just gotta get a hold of it. I have a chance to move out in two months, if lucky ^^ I'm close to a life of our own without the meddlers like my "family", I can taste it.

Wow, I don't remember when I had a good day like this the last time. Sweet bejesus. Here's a plalist of my day. Enjoy.

Bon Jovi - It's My Life
Bon Jovi - Have a Nice Day
Bon Jovi - I'll Sleep When I'm Dead
Stratovarius - Darkest Hours
Sonata Arctica - Shitload of Money
Sonata Arctica - Cinderblox
Sonata Arctica - Don't Say a Word
Prozzak - Switch Blade
Northern Kings - Don't Bring Me Down
Motoko Kumai - Go Ahead. Bokura no jidai e
Marie Serneholt - I Need a House
Kelly Osbourne - Papa Don't Preach
Jonathan Evans & Gerard Tevlin - I'm Not Going Down
Nickelback - When We Stand Together
Indica - Linnansa Vanki
Gwen Stefani - What Are You Waiting For
Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live
Dreamtale - Powerplay
Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care
Daniel LeBlanc & Creighton Doane - Rise Above The Storm
Lafee - Ring Frei
Sick Puppies - You're Going Down
Sonata Arctica - Peacemaker
Skylight feat. Tony Kakko - Devil Down
Rebeka Dremelj - Vrag Naj Vzame (To Hell With It)
Mudd - Underdog

Saturday, June 16, 2012

They keep twisting the knife

This has not exactly been my week. On Monday, I screwed up my workshift, Tuesday was not too bad. Wednesday... I think I went to Kauhava, then to movies with my sweetheart. Snow White and the Huntsman. I warmly recommend it. I was certain the Twilight actress would ruin it and that only Theron and Hemsworth (what a hunk) would save it. It was Theron who kind of... blew it. Her accent was irritating.
Then, in came THE PAIN. I haven't been that much in pain since... well, for a while. I took two 500mg painkillers, I nearly fell asleep while sitting up. I was tender even the next day. I was taken for an ice cream <3
Forgot to mention, I found The Avengers poster from the theater. For free! Made my night.
Well, Friday workshift went considerably better, until I screwed up again. I keep making mistakes and as a result, nearly fall into panic, because I do not want to make mistakes. I have a feeling I need another job and soon. Two more workdays until I have three days off. I work the whole midsummer, which is not cool. What was I thinking with this job?! Instead of making me stronger, it is tearing me apart in my head!
I also got accepted into a school, I just need to confirm it. It is not the school I wanted, but I have time until the end of the month, waiting for the top 3 options to send ANY information. My better half already got a letter from one, not accepted, but it's still better to know even that, than be left hanging, right? I do not know should I accept. Darling says that I should accept it, unless we both get to the same school.
I am at loss, of what to do. I just want to scream and break something.

Yet nobody can tell me what to do... in order to do things right...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hit me once more, there is no blood on the floor yet

I hate this place. And this surely is NOT gonna be my week. Monday was hell, yesterday seemed better, until the end of my shift, when Monday's mistakes came to slap me in the face. They always do. And I never learn from my mistakes, I just keep making them... I nearly had an anxiety attack last night... I hope my fiancée can get me to calm down. We are gonna go see Snow White and the Huntsman. I don't like that one-expression woman from the shitty mock-vampire movie, but Hemsworth and Theron <3

Friday, June 8, 2012

Not this way

After the first customer came and I realized I remembered nothing, I felt like Loki here. Not fun. Almost had an anxiety attack on top of it on the lunch break... I went to give breaks for the Satumaa workers, despite the two brats pulling the tail, bell and the skirt of the cow costumes I was wearing, I had fun, it made me realize I preferred that over the ticket booth shifts.
Then I felt like this:

Gifs are from Tumblr, I did not make these. I'm incapable of such thing.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Somewhere, something went horribly wrong with me

Considering I was raised by a family filled with sickeningly curious and gosspiy people, surrounded by equally nosy neighbors, I've only managed to transform my curiosity into a lust for more knowledge. Give me books and I read them right away. Start telling me what a distant relative or a former friend is doing... Painful death by my hands is very near. I just simply have no desire to know what the fuck are they up to. They aren't that close to me, so why bother telling me because I have no interest whatsoever?

I make my own family, I have friends and my sweetheart of course. Even their lives are their own business. A friend might be talking about his/her new job, I don't even ask what they are doing. My penfriends are always telling me to ask questions about their life, of what I want to know. I've never really known what to ask. I rarely start messenger convos anymore. They say my convo starters are the funniest sometimes because they are so random. Yeah, mayhaps. I rarely believe what positive people say about me anymore. I'm still like that, but maybe a little... less like that.

Feel free to fire questions at me, if there is anyone to do so ^^


Woah

Had really fun in the Marvel night, never had the chance to watch Iron Mans, but we'll might take round two someday. Never expected the only guy in the group to be a blonde metalhead with long hair. He was nice.
I got my new work schedule, which will most likely tire me out in no time, I'm already exhausted. I got over 77 € from the few days I've been working. I will be working... 7th, 8th, 11th, 12th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, 28th and 29th. Fuck me sideways...

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Two things

My day at work was cold and wet.

Secondly:

This is what is going on in my friend circle:
The only guy in the group is not very welcome in the eyes of our second youngest member. We others are pretty much like these lionesses. Shame, he's a nice guy, but she just can't be in the same room with him. I understand though.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Well that went well

No hitches during the Kemi-Tornio trip. My contract with the workshop ended, which leaves me both relieved but also irked, since my grandparents tend to drive me crazy. I have another workday tomorrow and Marvel movie day with friends on Sunday.

Limbo, my old friend

 Jesus Christ. I just can't take this shit anymore.  I've been on suspension from my unemployment support until yesterday. Everythin...